Good ol’ Memories. :’D
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Nah, i’m not hacked or anything, i just made this vid for the future D=
Create a video blog
One Way To Stop Your Other Half From Farting So Loudly!
By · CommentsThis story is about a couple who had been happily married for years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband’s habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke.
The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.
Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn’t stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.
The years went by and he continued to blast them out! Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.
Sometime later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom. The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had gotten him back pretty good.
About Twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she asked him what the matter was. He said, “Honey, you were right. All these years you have warned me and I didn’t listen to you.” “What do you mean?” asked his wife.
“Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, And today it finally happened. But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and two fingers, I think I got most of them back in.
This has definitely stopped me farting altogether!
Overheard At The Drinks Machine…
By · CommentsOverheard at the Drinks machine the other day. “That Sid Gatt, He would be out of his depth in a puddle.” Colleague replies: “He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.”
Spore Creature Creator Video: Helicopter
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This video was created using the Spore Creature Creator. yes a Helicopter… i said ‘you can make anything with spore’, he said ‘you cant make helicopters’, i said ‘There it is’, he said ‘you sad git’ .. 
Kansieo.com
Inspirational Quotes – and Sid Gatt’s one!
By · CommentsOne of the all time great inspirational quotes:
DO IT NOW! Napoleon Hill
Sid Gatt’s take on it…
“I CAN’T BE ARSED!”
Doctor is it serious?
By · CommentsAfter a visit to the whore house, a man notices green lumps on his willy, so he goes to the doctors.
“That’s serious!” says the doctor.
“How Serious?” asks the man, worried.
“You know how wrestlers get cauliflower ears?” asks the doctor.
“Yes”, says the man seriously.
“Well”, says the doctor, “You’ve got brothel sprouts.”
Life’s Lesson No.4
By · CommentsLife’s Lesson 4 :
A priest offered a Nun a lift.
She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.
The priest nearly had an accident.
After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg…
The nun said, ‘Father, remember Psalm 129?’
The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, ‘Father, remember Psalm 129?’
The priest apologized ‘Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.’
Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, ‘Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.’
Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.
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Are YOU Insured For Sex!?
By · CommentsThe following is a list of the correct insurance companies for sex …(Sorry these are mainly UK insurance companies!)
SEX with your wife – legal & general
SEX with your future wife – Mutual Trust
SEX with your secretary – Employers Liability
SEX with a prostitute – Commercial Union
SEX on the telephone – Direct line
SEX with your biographer – Quote me happy
SEX in a hurry- Insure & go
SEX with your boyfriend -standard life
SEX with a transvestite – confused.com
SEX with some one different – go compare.com
SEX with an animal – compare the meerkat . com
SEX with a fat bird – More Than
SEX on the back seat – sheila’s wheels
SEX with an o.a.p – saga
SEX with a posh bird – privilege .com
SEX with a sheep – Farmers Union
