Author Archive

If you’re going to make the incredible effort to be born, then why not live your life to the MAX. It makes sense, doesn’t it? Why do it half shod? Why only let the throttle out half way? Put your foot flat to the floor, spin the wheels, burn some rubber and let loose with a ‘Yahoo’ as you tear up the road in your supercharged hot rod of a life that is yours to live. Too many of us try to play it safe and at the end of the road we find ourselves trapped in self-imposed security. But you know and I know that there’s only one life to live, so let’s LIVE it.
Words © Peter Sinclair 2003
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Categories : Uncategorized
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Things a sad git does in a department store…

He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people’s carts when they weren’t looking.

Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

Moved a ‘CAUTION – WET FLOOR’ sign to a carpeted area.

When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, ‘Why can’t you people just leave me alone?’ Emergency services had to be called.

Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the ‘ Mission Impossible’ theme.

Hid in a ladies clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled ‘PICK ME! PICK ME!’

When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed ‘OH NO! IT’S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!’

And last, but not least:
Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, ‘Hey! There’s no toilet paper in here.’ One of the clerks passed out.

Please don’t do these at home folks – unless you’re a sad git!

Categories : Funny Stuff
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Feb
02

Fire Alarm Stafford Tower

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Freelop asked:


The fire alarm at aston uni (stafford tower) went off so like the sad git i am i decided to record it. Bonus: Shakey cam for cloverfield effect With thanks to the ****** that set off the alarm

sad git

Categories : Travel
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Feb
01

Best Quote of The DECADE!

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Judge joke. Bounced cheque, bounced check

Categories : Funny Stuff
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Jan
30

Thought provoking…

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Thought provoking thought…

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

Categories : Demotivation quotes
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Jan
29

Leonardo Da Vinci – are you joking!?

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I came across this quote by Leonardo Da Vinci and thought ‘Is he joking?’
“I have offended God and mankind because my work didn’t reach the quality it should be!” 

Am I reading that wrong? In my mind he was probably the greatest artist ever to have lived!!!

Categories : Sad Git
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Jan
27

Good ol’ Memories. :’D

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Dooom657 asked:


Nah, i’m not hacked or anything, i just made this vid for the future D=

Create a video blog

Categories : Comedy
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This story is about a couple who had been happily married for years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband’s habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke.

The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.

Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn’t stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.

The years went by and he continued to blast them out! Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.

Sometime later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom. The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had gotten him back pretty good.

About Twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she asked him what the matter was. He said, “Honey, you were right. All these years you have warned me and I didn’t listen to you.” “What do you mean?” asked his wife.

“Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, And today it finally happened. But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and two fingers, I think I got most of them back in.

This has definitely stopped me farting altogether!

Categories : Funny Stuff
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Jan
24

Overheard At The Drinks Machine…

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Overheard at the Drinks machine the other day. “That Sid Gatt, He would be out of his depth in a puddle.” Colleague replies: “He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.”

Categories : Comedy
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Jan
23

Spore Creature Creator Video: Helicopter

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delvarif asked:


This video was created using the Spore Creature Creator. yes a Helicopter… i said ‘you can make anything with spore’, he said ‘you cant make helicopters’, i said ‘There it is’, he said ‘you sad git’ .. :(

Kansieo.com

Categories : Entertainment
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