Author Archive
THINGS YOU DON’T WANT TO HEAR DURING SURGERY
Posted by: | CommentsTHINGS YOU DON’T WANT TO HEAR DURING SURGERY
Well folks, this will be an experiment for all of us.
Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donation card?
Ya’ know… there’s big money in kidneys… and this guy’s got two of ‘em.
Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what’s that?
Oh no! I just lost my Rolex.
Damn! There go the lights again…
That’s cool! Now can you make his leg twitch?!
Bo! Bo! Come back with that! Bad Dog!
Sterile, schemerle. The floor’s clean, right?
What do you mean he wasn’t in for a sex change?
OK, now take a picture from this angle. This is truly a freak of nature.
Don’t worry. I think it is sharp enough.
Better save that. We’ll need it for the autopsy.
Isn’t this the guy with the really lousy insurance?
Determination Quote!
Posted by: | CommentsPlease Excuse Me Ma’am!
Posted by: | CommentsSid Gatt is in a hotel lobby. As he runs to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman and as he does, his elbow hits her breast.
They are both quite startled. Sid turns to her and says, “Ma’am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you’ll forgive me.”
She replies, “If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I’m in room 243.”
A Moment of Madness – Acoustic Guitar (author’s own song)
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All I want is a moment of madness, Just to be with you. All I want in this shadow of blackness, Is a moment with you. Can’t you hear me screaming the walls down, In the Silent Night? Can’t you see I’m losing my pieces, In this bitter fight? All I need is a moment together, Just to make it all right.
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Procrastination Quote…
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Top 10 quotes from one of sports all time champions…Muhammad Ali!
Posted by: | Comments10. Age is whatever you think it is. You are as old as you
7. I never thought of losing, but now that it’ s happened,
6. I’m so fast that last night I turned off the light switch
4. It’s the repetition of affirmations that leads to belief.
2. I hated every minute of training, but I said, "Don’t quit.
1. I figured that if I said it enough, I would convince the
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Does Anyone Want a Dog!?
Posted by: | CommentsI’m giving my dog away…
To my friends:
Last night, I was assaulted in my own house.
The thieves entered my home, locked me in
the bathroom after hitting me over the head
and took almost everything!
My dog, supposed to be a guard dog, didn’t
alert me, nor did he react to the thieves.
This is the reason why I’m giving him away.
Maybe you can train him better.
I don’t want any more dogs in my home. It would
be better to install some kind of alarm which
would be better and cheaper in the long run.
Those who would like the dog, please
get in touch with me.
Here’s a photo of my dog…
I‘d like my dog to go to a good home – but maybe a bad one will be ok!?
Demotivational Quote
Posted by: | CommentsAnyone who uses the phrase ‘easy as taking candy from a baby’ has never tried taking candy from a baby.
Demotivational posters part 1 of 4
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The first part of 4 of Demotivational posters I found to be funny so if they cheer you up or tare you down they worked.
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