Author Archive

THINGS YOU DON’T WANT TO HEAR DURING SURGERY

Well folks, this will be an experiment for all of us.
Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donation card?
Ya’ know… there’s big money in kidneys… and this guy’s got two of ‘em.
Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what’s that?
Oh no! I just lost my Rolex.
Damn! There go the lights again…
That’s cool! Now can you make his leg twitch?!
Bo! Bo! Come back with that! Bad Dog!
Sterile, schemerle. The floor’s clean, right?
What do you mean he wasn’t in for a sex change?
OK, now take a picture from this angle. This is truly a freak of nature.
Don’t worry. I think it is sharp enough.
Better save that. We’ll need it for the autopsy.
Isn’t this the guy with the really lousy insurance?

Categories : Funny Stuff
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Feb
20

Determination Quote!

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The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather a lack of will.
Vincent T. Lombardi
Categories : Uncategorized
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Feb
19

Please Excuse Me Ma’am!

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Sid Gatt is in a hotel lobby. As he runs to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman and as he does, his elbow hits her breast.
They are both quite startled. Sid turns to her and says, “Ma’am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you’ll forgive me.”
She replies, “If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I’m in room 243.”

 

Sex with Sid Gatt. T-shirt slogan

Categories : Sad Git
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BonjourRich asked:


All I want is a moment of madness, Just to be with you. All I want in this shadow of blackness, Is a moment with you. Can’t you hear me screaming the walls down, In the Silent Night? Can’t you see I’m losing my pieces, In this bitter fight? All I need is a moment together, Just to make it all right.

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Categories : Music
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Feb
16

Who Said Women Cannot Park!?

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Click to see if women can park!?

WhoSaidWomenCannotPark

Categories : Comedy
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Feb
14

Procrastination Quote…

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If you want to make an easy job seem mighty hard, just keep putting off doing it.  ~Olin Miller
--

Categories : Uncategorized
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Here’s the top ten quotes of ‘The Greatest’ :
10. Age is whatever you think it is. You are as old as you
think you are.
9. At home I am a nice guy: but I don’t want the world to
know. Humble people, I’ve found, don’t get very far.
8. He who is not courageous enough to take risks will
accomplish nothing in life.
7. I never thought of losing, but now that it’ s happened,
the only thing is to do it right. That’s my obligation to
all the people who believe in me. We all have to take
defeats in life.
6. I’m so fast that last night I turned off the light switch
in my hotel room and was in bed before the room was dark.

Muhammadali

5. What keeps me going is goals.
4. It’s the repetition of affirmations that leads to belief.
And once that belief becomes a deep conviction, things
begin to happen.
3. I am the greatest, I said that even before I knew I was.
2. I hated every minute of training, but I said, "Don’t quit.
Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion."
And the most thought provoking one…
1. I figured that if I said it enough, I would convince the
world that I really was the greatest.
--

Categories : Uncategorized
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Feb
11

Does Anyone Want a Dog!?

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I’m giving my dog away…

To my friends:
Last night, I was assaulted in my own house.
The thieves entered my home, locked me in
the bathroom after hitting me over the head
and took almost everything!
My dog, supposed to be a guard dog, didn’t
alert me, nor did he react to the thieves.
This is the reason why I’m giving him away.
Maybe you can train him better.
I don’t want any more dogs in my home. It would
be better to install some kind of alarm which
would be better and cheaper in the long run.
Those who would like the dog, please
get in touch with me.

Here’s a photo of my dog…

 I‘d like my dog to go to a good home – but maybe a bad one will be ok!?

Categories : Sad Git
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Feb
10

Demotivational Quote

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Anyone who uses the phrase ‘easy as taking candy from a baby’ has never tried taking candy from a baby.

Categories : Demotivation quotes
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Feb
08

Demotivational posters part 1 of 4

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777kas asked:


The first part of 4 of Demotivational posters I found to be funny so if they cheer you up or tare you down they worked.

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Categories : Entertainment
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