15 Funny Quotes that’ll stop you dead in your tracks on your road to success!

1. You cant keep the birds of sadness flying over your head, but you can keep them from nesting in your hair!

2. Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

3. Careful with that light at the end of the tunnel, it might be another train coming.

4. I didn’t lose my mind, I sold it on ebay.

5. Never go to bed angry, stay awake and plot your revenge.

6. A child of five should be able to follow these instructions – but let’s just test them out on Sid Gatt.

7. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

8. I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried – but they wanted cash.

9. Don’t feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.

10. I’m a light eater. When it gets light, I start eating

11. Ladies first. Sexy ladies sooner.

12. If We Quit Voting, Will They All Go Away?

13. An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her.

14. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.

15. Santa Claus has the right idea: visit people once a year

16. You can have everything in life you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want.(Or you’re an extremely good robber!)

17. Let he who is without sin buy the first round of beer.

18. As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Let me know if you have any funny quotes!?

I’ll add a Sid Gatt cartoon to your funny quotes!