Looking for a new job? Ten Things Not To Put In A Resume Cover Letter…

1. Any sentence beginning with “I was recently acquitted.”
2. My turn-ons include…
3. I’m really keen to work for you – I hear the drugs are good.
4. I regret that I have no references. Unfortunately, every company I have worked for has since closed down.
5. I’ll kill myself if I don’t get this job.
6. I know where you live.
7. I’m really tall, so I think I’d be well suited to this job.
8. Happy faces.
9. By the way, I understand that you have unmarried daughters.
10. I’m confident that I’ll get this job. God told me.

Please let me know if you have any more ‘ten things‘…