Meet Sid Gatt – he really is a sad git!
Meet Sid Gatt, A Sad Git – A Loser – A No Hoper!
SidGatt - Really really is a sad git!
Greetings, my fellow losers. You can call me Sid Gatt, and I’m a sad, sad git. I lose at winning and win at losing. That sort of counts as winning, right? Okay, so I’m not the best at winning, but I’m pretty good at whining … does that count?
You know me and you love me – I’m That Guy. Oh yeah, you know the one – I sit at the end of the bar, drinking my beer that I’ve already asked you to help me pay for. I’ll pay you next week, I swear. Well, maybe I will. Oh, who am I kidding, I so totally won’t!
Watch out, ladies. None of you are immune to my devilish charms, Well, actually, you all seem to pretty immune to them, but does that stop me? Heck no, it doesn’t! Don’t you love it when I point at you and give you my patented sexy git look and say, “How you doin’ pretty lady? You want some Sid?” Hey, why are you changing stools? Hmm, now you’re talking to your girlfriends. You must be telling them how awesome you think I am. Now now, no fighting over me ladies, there’s only one of me – Sid Gatt.
What does a sad git do?
I’ll sit around for hours, telling you exactly what I think about everything. If you tell a joke, chances are I’ll be the last one to get it, but does that stop old Sid? No it does not. Sid Gatt is a sad git, and the drunker and louder I get, the more obnoxious I am, but you love me, don’t you?
I’m the guy that will insult your girlfriend, or insult you in front of your own mother. I’ll accidentally spill my drink on you when I’m hitting on you, but don’t expect me to pay your dry cleaning bill. I’ll probably forget. I kind of spray when I talk, too, and my table manners are atrocious.
Do you take pity on sad gits?
Some of you take pity on me, due to my complete lack of social graces and my propensity for loud shirts.
My breath doesn’t help matters any, either. Polyester is out, you say? Has been for awhile? Hmm. Doesn’t seem to stop me from wearing it – admit it, the leisure suit looks gooood on old Sid. Oh yeah.
I’m a born loser. It takes a lot of time and effort to be this good at being a loser. You wish you could be as good as me. I talk too loud, louder than my shirts even, I fall down often, and I’m really good at getting that 6’5” metalworker to want to start a fight with you when I tell him what you said about his girlfriend. Hey, I’m just trying to help!
