The Divorced BARBY Doll…
By · CommentsOne day a father gets out of work and on his way home he suddenly remembers that it’s his daughter’s birthday.
He pulls over to a Toy Shop and asks the sales person, ‘How much for one of those Barbie’s in the display window?’
The salesperson answers, ‘Which one do you mean, Sir? We have:
Work Out Barbie for $19.95, Shopping Barbie for $19.95,
Beach Barbie for $19.95, Disco Barbie for $19.95,
Ballerina Barbie for $19.95, Astronaut Barbie for $19.95, Skater Barbie for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $265.95′.
The amazed father asks: ‘It’s what?! Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.95 and the others only $19.95?’
The annoyed salesperson rolls her eyes, sighs,& answers:
‘Sir…, Divorced Barbie comes with:
Ken’s Car, Ken’s House, Ken’s Boat, Ken’s Furniture,
Ken’s Computer, one of Ken’s Friends,
and a key chain made with Ken’s balls.
Spore Creature Creator Video: Helicopter
By · Comments
This video was created using the Spore Creature Creator. yes a Helicopter… i said ‘you can make anything with spore’, he said ‘you cant make helicopters’, i said ‘There it is’, he said ‘you sad git’ .. 
Kansieo.com
Leadership – quotes and cartoon!
By · CommentsDwight D. Eisenhower
learn more, do more and become more,
you are a leader.
John Quincy Adams
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Life’s Lessons No.5
By · CommentsLife’s Lesson No.5
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.
While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.
The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
Moral of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) And when you’re in deep shit, it’s best to keep your mouth shut!
THUS ENDS THE 5-MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE.
Extract from a book “Smile Your Way To Success’
By · Comments
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Life’s Lesson No.4
By · CommentsLife’s Lesson 4 :
A priest offered a Nun a lift.
She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.
The priest nearly had an accident.
After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg…
The nun said, ‘Father, remember Psalm 129?’
The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, ‘Father, remember Psalm 129?’
The priest apologized ‘Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.’
Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, ‘Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.’
Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.
Old Fart Pride!
By · CommentsI’m passing this on as I did not want to be the only old fart receiving it. Actually, it’s not
a bad thing to be called, as you will see. Old Farts are easy to spot at sporting
events; during the playing of God save the Queen or Land of Hope & Glory,
Old Farts remove their caps and stand at attention and sing without embarrassment.
They know the words and believe in them.
Old Farts remember World War II, Pearl Harbour, Guadalcanal, Normandy
and Hitler. They remember the Atomic Age, the Korean War, The Cold
War, the Jet Age and the Moon Landing. They remember the 50 plus Peacekeeping Missions
from 1945 to 2005, not to mention Vietnam .
If you bump into an Old Fart on the pavement he will apologize. If you pass an
Old Fart on the street, he will nod or tip his cap to a lady.
Old Farts trust strangers and are courtly to women.
Old Farts hold the door for the next person and always, when walking,
make certain the lady is on the inside for protection.
Old Farts get embarrassed if someone curses in front of women and children and
they don’t like any filth or dirty language on TV or in movies.
Old Farts have moral courage and personal integrity. They seldom brag
unless it’s about their children or grandchildren.
It’s the Old Farts who know our great country is protected, not by politicians,
but by the young men and women in the military serving their country.
This country needs Old Farts with their work ethic, sense of responsibility,
pride in their country and decent values.
We need them now more than ever.
Thank God for Old Farts!
Pass this on to all the “Old Farts” you know. I was taught to respect my elders.
It’s just getting harder to find them.
Sid Gatt Meets a Gorgeous Nymphomaniac On a Flight!
By · CommentsSid Gatt boards an airplane, and takes his seat. As he settles in, he glances up and sees a beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realizes she is heading straight towards his seat. A wave of nervous anticipation washes over him.
Lo and behold, she takes the seat right beside him. Anxious to strike up a conversation, he blurts out, “So, where are you flying to today?”
She turns and smiles, and says, “To the annual Nymphomaniac Convention in London.”
He swallows hard, instantly crazed with excitement. Here’s the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen, sitting right next to him, and she’s going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs. Struggling to maintain his outward cool, he calmly asks, “And what’s your role at this convention?”
She flips her hair back, turns to him, looks straight into his eyes, and says, “I will be speaking to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.”
“Really,” he says, doing everything he can to maintain. “And what myths are those?”
She explains,”Well, one popular myth is that African-American men are the most well-endowed, when, in fact, it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess this trait. Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is men of Jewish descent who romance women best, on average.”
“Very interesting,” Sid responds.
Suddenly, the woman becomes very embarrassed, and blushes. “I’m sorry,” she says, “I feel so awkward discussing this with you, and I don’t even know your name.”
Sid extends his hand and replies, “Tonto. Tonto Goldstein.”
