I Get Lucky With Women!
By · CommentsSid Gatt…
I have a new chat up line that works every time! It doesn’t matter how
gorgeous or out of my league a woman might be, this line is a
winner and I always end up in bed with them. Here’s how it goes,
“Excuse me love, could I ask your opinion? Does this damp cloth smell
like chloroform to you?”
Young Sid Gatt when he was at school…
By · CommentsA teacher asks her class, ‘If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence, and you
shoot one of them, how many will be left?’
She calls on little Sid Gattt .
He replies, ‘None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot.’
The teacher replies , ‘The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking.’
Then little Sid says, ‘I have a question for YOU Miss Rogers’.
There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream:
One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream.
The second is gobbling down the top and sucking on the cone.
The third is biting off the top of the ice cream.
Which one is married?’
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, ‘Well, I suppose the one that’s
gobbled down the top and sucked the cone.’
To which Little Sid replies, ‘The correct answer is ‘The one with the
wedding-ring on, ‘but I like your thinking.’
Top 10 Things to…
…Never Write on Your Online Dating Profile
10. By law, I think I need to let you know that I am a registered sex offender.
9. I have a machete collection.
8. Online dating is for losers.
7. I’ve been clean for 2 weeks now…
6. Can you pick me up? My car was impounded.
5. My perfect date involves a drive-thru. Don’t worry, you can get whatever you want.
4. I hope you like moms because I still live with mine!
3. I’ve never been intimate with a human before.
2. My hobbies include chewing on glass bottles because they taste like ouch.
1. I need someone who can definitely protect themselves. I have a CRAZY ex.
If you know any more ‘Top 10 things to’ let me know and I’ll rework my list!
How about some others lists: Top 10 things to never write on your blog? Top 10 things to never say to your date? Top 10 things to never to do on your first date? Top 10 things to never to wear on your first date?
Fear Of Failure!?
By · CommentsWinston Churchill said, “Success is the ability to go from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm.
I just go from failure to failure period! - Sid Gatt
Does Anyone Want a Dog!?
By · CommentsI’m giving my dog away…
To my friends:
Last night, I was assaulted in my own house.
The thieves entered my home, locked me in
the bathroom after hitting me over the head
and took almost everything!
My dog, supposed to be a guard dog, didn’t
alert me, nor did he react to the thieves.
This is the reason why I’m giving him away.
Maybe you can train him better.
I don’t want any more dogs in my home. It would
be better to install some kind of alarm which
would be better and cheaper in the long run.
Those who would like the dog, please
get in touch with me.
Here’s a photo of my dog…
I‘d like my dog to go to a good home – but maybe a bad one will be ok!?
Demotivational Quote
By · Comments
If at first you don’t succeed – failure may be your style!
Sad neighbour with OCD
By · Comments
my sad neighbour pisses me off! He parks his crappy old Beemer infront of his and his neighbours house but it MUST be inch perfectly parked. Watch this, he’s already parked but needs to redo it, see how much he moves it by and watch him check it’s perfectly positioned once done! Sad git. Btw him and his neighbour have parking wars!!
Kansieo.com
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Jedward.the World’s Gone Mad!.
By · Comments
The world really has gone mad when the likes of John and Edward Grimes (collectively known as Jedward) are getting more press coverage than Katie Price, Thierry Henry and The Krankies…combined! Jedward t-shirts are out-selling Robbie Williams CDs, KFC Bargain Buckets, Power Rangers and those hilarious blank postcards titled “London..In A Fog” put together. If you sat down and counted EVERY COMMA on EVERY FAN-LETTER that John and Edward have received since their X-Factor debut…well…you’d be a pretty sad git, wouldn’t you? In fact…you might need professional help. (and I’m not talking Valet, Au-Pair or Tree Surgeon) Calm down. Have a beer. If you liked this song please tell others. If you didn’t like it…send a cheque for £45 to me at : 46, Goblin Teasmade Crescent Tumbler’s end Maidstone 8 Teddy’s- Gambling
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