Archive for Dating Jokes
Done By The Cops For Having Sex…
Posted by: | CommentsSid and his girlfriend were driving down the road in a very busy area, when things started to get somewhat passionate. They decided to pull over and park and have some fun.
Things were really getting hot, and they were not paying any attention to what was going on outside. All of a sudden a policeman was tapping on their window. The cop could hardly contain himself.
“Didn’t you know that you are not supposed to be having sex in public?” he asked the couple.
Being embarrassed by being caught, they said yes and apologized.
“Well, he said, I will have to write you a ticket.”
So the cop wrote the ticket and reminded them next time to watch their behavior.
After getting dressed, the girl asked Sid what the policeman wrote the ticket for. He responded, “Doing 69 in a 30 mph speed zone!”
Sid Gatt – Does He Really Want A Girlfriend!?
Posted by: | CommentsSid Gatt was walking home one night and happened across a frog sitting in the middle of the sidewalk. That was very strange, as he lives downtown in a big city. Next thing he knows, the frog looks up at him and says “Hey, kiss me and I’ll turn into a beautiful princess!”
Well, he just smiled, picked her up, and put her in his jacket pocket and continued back home. About a block later, she starts yelling in his pocket. “Hey, if you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I’ll go on a date with you! Come on, man. I’m really hot!” He just took her out of his pocket, smiled at her, laughed a bit, and put her back. He started walking again.
About a block later, she starts yelling at him again. “Hey, if you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I’ll be your girlfriend for a week. I’m really hot, man! Think of what your friends would say!” Again, he just took her out, smiled at her, and took her back.
Finally, she was getting desperate. “OK, look…if you kiss me, I’ll do WHATEVER YOU WANT for a whole year. Think about it, man! I’m beautiful!” Again, he just took her out and smiled, but when he went to put her back, she looked at him and said “What’s the problem? Why won’t you kiss me? I told you I’m a beautiful princess and promised you a whole year of whatever you want! Why won’t you just kiss me?”
He just laughed and said “Look lady, I don’t have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is just cool!”
5 tips for women!!
Posted by: | Comments5 tips for women!!
1. It is important that a man helps you around the house and has a job.
2. It is important that a man makes you laugh.
3. It is important to find a man you can count on and doesn’t lie to you.
4. It is important that a man loves you and spoils you.
5. It is important that these four men don’t know each other!!!
11 Things NOT To Do On A First Date!
Posted by: | CommentsYOU Must not do these on a first date…DON’T…
1. Get so drunk or so tipsy that you can’t talk coherently or stand! Take responsibility for yourself and make sure you don’t drink alcohol on an empty stomach, or mix your drinks.
2. Smoke – unless your date is also a smoker, most men and women don’t enjoy kissing an ashtray, so if you want a kiss at the end of the night give the fags a miss.
3. Eat garlic; this is for the same reason as above. Your date won’t kiss you if you have smelly breath.
4. Order messy food, like spaghetti bolognaise as nerves and alcohol combined could result in a very messy date.
5. Belch, pick your nose, spit, eat with your mouth open, and chew gum.
6. Fart – loud ones, silent but violent or any other shape or form. But the ultimate NO NO is….
Are you getting the idea of what not to do on the first date? Here’s some more…DON’T…
7. Say you want to meet their parents or start talking about marriage and babies. This goes for both men and women.
8. Talk about your exes, this will show you have baggage and haven’t moved on. Talking about exes is the most boring subject in the entire world. A 100% NO NO!
9. Take your kids with you, seems obvious but it’s happened.(Sid would run a mile if he saw his date with four kids in tow!) Don’t talk endlessly about your kids on a first date. Do mention you have them, but then move on.
10. Be a moaning git. First dates should be fun, not about listening to your problems whatever they are about.
11. Guys take note – ”You have amazing boobs!” is not appropriate first date dinner conversation. Also – Stop staring at them.(And drooling!) Try to make eye contact!
To summarize, first dates can be both a thrilling and nervous event. Be yourself, be curious and keep it light and cheerful. First dates are like job interviews – so be on your best behaviour!
There’s plenty more things you shouldn’t do on a first date – let me know any I’ve missed!? So I can do Part 2!
How To Get Out Of A Unsuccessful Date!
Posted by: | CommentsAfter being with his date all evening, Sid Gatt couldn’t take another minute with his blind date. Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him to the phone so he would have an excuse to leave if something like this happened. When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on a grim expression and said, “I have some bad news. My grandfather just died.” “Phew! Thank heavens,” his date replied. “If yours hadn’t, mine would have had to!”
