Archive for funny joke
Some More Jokes Involving Sid Gatt…
Posted by: | CommentsSome more jokes involving Sid Gatt…
Sid Gatt has just come out of the ‘chippy’ with a meat and potato pie,
large chips, mushy peas & a jumbo sausage.
A poor homeless man sat there and said ‘I’ve not eaten for two
days’. Sid tells him ‘I wish I had your will power!’
Snow eh! The weather girl said she was expecting 8 inches tonight. Sid
thought to himself ‘She’ll be lucky with a face like that!’
Little Billy asks his dad for a telly in his room. Dad reluctantly agrees.
Next day Billy comes downstairs and asks, ‘Dad, what’s love juice?’
Dad looks horrified and tells Billy all about sex.
Billy just sat there with his mouth open in amazement.
Dad says, ‘So what were you watching?’
Billy says, ‘ Wimbledon .’
Sid Gatt jokes about getting naked…
A woman friend is standing nude in front of a mirror says to Sid Gatt, I look horrible, I feel fat & ugly, pay me a compliment.’
He replies, ‘Your eyesight is perfect.’
Sid Gatt gets naked and asks girlfriend, ‘What turns you on more, my
handsome face or my sexy body?’
Girlfriend looks him up & down and replies, ‘Your sense of humour!
An elderly lady is attending Mass and sits next to Sid Gatt.
About halfway through, she leans over and says to Sid, ‘I just
let out a silent fart; what do you think I should do?’
Sid replies, ‘Put a new battery in your hearing aid, darling!’
Please send in your jokes – in the comments box!
Bacon Tree!?
Posted by: | CommentsTwo Mexicans are stuck in the desert after crossing into the United States, wandering aimlessly and starving.
They are about to just lie down and wait for death, when all of a sudden Luis says…
“Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell.
Ees bacon, I theenk.”
“Is, Luis, eet sure smells like bacon.”
With renewed hope they struggle up the next sand dune, & there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon.
There’s raw bacon, there’s fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon … every imaginable kind of cured pork.
“Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved. Ees a bacon tree.”
“Luis, maybe ees a meerage? We ees in the desert don’t forget.”
“Pepe, since when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smell like bacon… ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree.”
And with that, Luis staggers towards the tree. He gets to within 5 metres, Pepe crawling close behind, when suddenly a machine gun opens up, and Luis drops like a wet sock. Mortally wounded, he warns Pepe with his dying breath,
“Pepe… go back man, you was right, ees not a bacon tree!”
“Luis, Luis MI amigo… what ees it? ”
“Pepe.. ees not a bacon tree. Ees
Ees
Ees
Ees
Ees a ham bush…”
SO SORRY I know there is something wrong with me for posting this. Just couldn’t help it! The little voices made me do it !!!
And I bet you tried to do the accent didn’t you – I know you did!
